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I want a prince who's perfect in every way! SHUT UP! TV: quot;How can I be suffering from Stockholm syndrome?quot; Man, I love Beauty and the Beast. Being a Disney princess, would be so awesome! You know, you get to sing all your emotions, you get to find your true love. Even if it is an animal. And you get to have cute little talking, anthropomorphized dishware as best friends! Nah... Do you know how lame it would actually be if Disney princesses were real? *chipper music* Oh, Rapunzel, let your hair down so that I may climb upon it. Ian: Okay Anthony: I thought your hair was supposed to be, like, really, really long. I: Yeah, it is It's like, down to my butt No, I-I just thought that it would come all the way down here, and I would be able to climb up I: Okay, honey, Hair doesn't work like that It takes a lot of work to keep it intact, and, even then, It just naturally falls out over time. I: Not to mention, you're, like, way fatter than me, so you'd probably just pull me out the window. A: Okay I: Come back when you have a ladder or something You're pretty cute *chipper music* Talk dirty to me, Ariel First, I'm going to find somewhere really wet Yeah? Like a shallow riverbed Okay? Then, I'm going to lay my eggs, and you're going to swim upstream to fertilize them And after seven to ten days, they're going to hatch, and you're going to protect them inside your mouth until they're old enough to survive in the wild. *heavy breathing* *chipper music* Oh my god, what can I do? You must kiss her! What? A kiss is the only way you could wake her from her cursed and eternal slumber! *bird sounds* STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR A LITTLE MISCHIEVOUS ACT WITH AN UNCONSCIOUS HUMAN! (Singing) Hi ho, hi ho, It's off to jail you go *chipper music* I'm having a great time Oh my god, you look beautiful A: Oh my god, what are you doing?! I: I'm dancing'! Are you okay, carpet? (sobs) Be free! (Someone below): Ugh! Who threw an f×King rug on me?! *chipper music* You can't ground me, Mum! Aft! *chipper music* Yea She is pretty beautiful... *chipper music* What? Wait... You just murdered my whole family, and you want me to show you where to get food?! Yes Okay, cool Umm... Would you also like to relocate my entire tribe across the country to a barren, worthless piece of land where most of my people will die? Yes Okay, you're right. Being a Disney princess would probably really suck. I: What's wrong with you? (Singing) Tale as old as time, read an article online, stopped using shampoo, heard it's good for you, Dandruff and the Grease Oh, dude, you got your dandruff on me Hey, guys, thanks so much for subscribing Click the video on the left to watch bloopers, and this deleted scene. *chipper music* *stomach growling* Oh... Guess I never thought about how I'd get food all the way up to my ice fortress. You could always eat the lemon shaved ice I found outside! And click the video on the right to watch quot;If Video Games were Real.” *chipper music* Hey,...
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